Mama fears….we all have them!
There are moments where I am filled with self doubt about our choices, yesterday was one of them.
I was anxious that we were pushing Luca too much, we had been here a week, and here we were sending him off to a place by himself, where he knows no one, does not know the language, or the culture, and said to him ,”have fun, see you when you get home”!
Just look at my baby boy, what am I doing, are we crazy !!!!!!
As Luca got off the bus yesterday I said with trepidation, “how was your day?”, he gave a big smile and said ,”awesome!”, then it was a non stop dialogue of his amazing time and his new friend Diego!
Still not convinced I suggested over supper that maybe he have day off today to recoup, he thought that was a terrible idea as he recounted the adventures of the day yet again. He was up at 6am, very chipper and eager to get going! Then off he went to catch the bus with a casual “love you!”, wave and he was gone!!!!
I then realized that he is not my baby boy any longer, he no longer needs that sort of protection. He is confident young boy, very happy in this new adventure and that my fears were exactly that, my fears not his! I need to let go, be there for when he does actually need me, and let him get on with it, because he is obviously more than capable!
It is soooooo hard though!!!!!!
Although this is exactly what we want for him, and why we made this move, it is so scary at the same time, and I sometimes wish for those moments back, when he is sitting right where I can see him, within arms length, so I can reach out and make sure everything is OK, but that time has passed, such a bitter sweet moment for both Rich and I, we will adjust, just going to take some time….. 🙂
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